"No More Spandex" and other X-Men Fan FictionTheCostumer's Fiction Page
Featuring X-Men The Movie Fan Fic by
All stories fit together in the following order.Bookmark this page to see future chapters.
Whatever Remainsan X-Men the Movie fan fic story
No More SpandexPG Humor.
How and why Magneto and the X-Men got new non-Spandex superhero costumes. Reveals what terrible substance Storm and Magneto are helpless against. Prequel to film time frame. Related outside Link:
It's Not Easy Being Green R rated Humor. Toad tries to find a date in New York. Prequel to film.
Finding HopePGRogue POV of entire film time frame. Rogue explains the problems associated with her "gift", and why she thinks Magneto may be the way to solve them. Mixed angst/comedy.Notes on parts that belong here that I have not written: Law and Order: Mutant Defense Pt1: Crossover Fic. Detectives Brisco and Green investigate a suspicius death of a Port Authority security guard
Mr. Toad's Wild Ride: Toad has been brought to the hospital after landing in the bay, and meets Nurse Louisa Lipshitz, the only spinster Lipshitz daughter, and aunt of Sylvie. Toad/Louisa share an interest in musical theatre, performance art, and an annoyance with the advertising industry's focus on the "beauty" culture. They cook up a non-violent comedy performance art "terrorist" campaign targeting bad advertising art that discriminates against mutants and plus size people. They get arrested and released repeatedly till they become famous, and start being pop cultural icons themselves.
The Memoirs of Former President Kelly Part 1: Senator Kelley's POV of the film time frame. (all the Kelley sections should be in the form of memoirs written years later by a retired ex president doing a tell-all book designed to shock the public and his party).
The Rat TrapPGIn prison (post film), Magneto finds himself tortured and embarrassed by Rogue's nightmares and memories. A conversation with Charles takes things from bad to worse. Mixed angst/comedy.
Free to Be, You and MePG. Marie gets arrested. Magneto gets a lawyer. Marie gets out. The students find out more secrets and Bobby gets jealous. Mainly plot exposition with humor.
Notes on parts that belong here that I have not written: Memoirs of Former President Kelly/Boot to the Head: Ed Gruberman is grabbed by Sabertooth as a way of breaking Magneto out of jail. Contrary to all laws of probability, Ed, whomps him. Sabertooth is so impressed he begins to follow Ed down the path of Ti Kwan Leep. Senator Kelley meanwhile, has reconstituted himself, and attempts a confrontation with Mystique. It fails, since his appearance is now more
unstable and clearly mutant than hers. They agree to a truce, where both take turns being the "Senator", but eventually the Senator's wife figures out that her husband is a mutant, blames him for his daughter's mutancy,
and runs off, blowing the whistle on her husband's masquerade during the divorce proceedings. Tabloids plaster attractive pics of Mystique all over their covers in the furor over the scandal, making her the first
publicly acknowledged sex symbol who is a mutant. The Senator then has to do a total about-face in order to get reelected. His usual staff desert him, so his daughter and Mystique start campaigning for him with the
assistance of Toad/Lousia and their pop-culture antics.
Law and Order: Mutant DefensePt 2. PG (Fragment) Magneto goes on trial, while everyone at the Xavier Academy is glued to the TV.
Private Lessons PG. Marie gets lessons in controlling her power from Magneto. Everyone at Xavier's school is in an uproar. Plot exposition and humor.Private Lessons Part 2:
Boys and Girls PG-13 The kids are pitched into jealous battles as the girls try to uncover secrets, and the boys teach Erik about the Internet. Mostly silly stuff.
Signs of the Times PG, odd bits. Another trip to his tailor causes Magneto to remember the day when he and Charles first went to Lipchitz's shop. Mild slash indicators. Holocaust bits. Humorous scene of violence towards hapless muggers. (Incomplete)Private Lessons Part 3:
True RomancePG Kitty's jealous revenge prompts Rogue into wanting to speed up the lessons giving Erik a surprise. Rogue/Magneto shipper stuff & humor.
Private Lessons Part 4:
Love Long, and ProsperPGErik confesses to Charles, romance and intrigue expands to the student body at large, and Erik takes the seniors to a Star Trek Convention.
Notes on parts that belong here that I have not written: Private Lessons Part 5:
Parts that belong in Part 5: Magneto and Rogue start clandestinely using the "device" on trips to NYC,
and making more of them, which they start installing in public locations, further cementing a relationship. Rogue eventually helps Magneto in his plans to create more mutants with his improved device by enlisting the aid of some of her former Bible school mates who found themselves sympathetic to the mutant cause after they or relatives developed mutancy, and has them do road-trips to install the devices in public places scattered around the south and midwest. Silly situations abound as people "come out" as mutants all over the US.
The girls, noticing that Rogue seems more and more preoccupied with Magneto, step up their campaign of false letters and gifts from Logan, creating more and more outrageous sentimental garbage as they do so.
Meanwhile, off in Fairbanks, Logan is talked into auditioning for 12th Night at UAF, and meets more Fairbanks weirdos. They realize he's a mutant. They think it's "cool". He decides to build a cabin and
Back in Kelley's Kansas, Magneto's devices have been altering the inhabitants. A well-known tent-show minister is one who is so converted, and he "comes out" to create the Born Again Mutant church, a Baptist spin off that regards mutancy as a visible sign of being born again and touched by God. He gains followers that are mutants, as well as non-mutants who pray to be so "touched". He endorses Kelley, and his parishioners help fuel Kelley's campaign coffers. Kelley adopts a canny combination of "family values"
(his wife deserted him and his daughter, not the other way around) appealing to the Right, and mutant rights appealing to the Left and newly "converted" mutants.
Sabertooth meanwhile has been taken to Ed's former Sensei for intensive teaching. The sensei insists that Sabertooth take the time to personally apologize to every person who he has wronged in the past in order to make peace and achieve closure. Sabertooth starts coming into an assortment of situations where he feels he should apologize, but his former foes are a bit suspicious of his coming. However with his improved abilities with Ti Quan Leep, he is able to subdue the X Men long enough to apologize to each in turn, even if he has to sit on Cyclops while doing so. While at the X mansion he also apologizes to Rogue and tells her he wants to find Logan to do the same. Rogue get's "permission" from (the girls impersonating ) Logan on email to send Sabertooth to Alaska to look for him. She gives a long letter to Logan to Sabertooth to deliver.
The Rest of the Story
Charles' son and Sylvie get engaged, despite Rolf's lingering scorn for Charles. The wedding is slated for the X Mansion, since it is a better place for a party than Rolf's son's place.
Kelly wins his reelection with a wide enough margin that he is encouraged to run for President in two years.
Sabertooth goes to North Pole, but quickly finds that Logan has moved to Fairbanks, and tracks him down at the Loon, delivering Rogue's letter. Logan is non-plussed by the letter, and suspicious about Sabertooth's
claim that the girl has a room full of tacky gifts supposedly sent by him, but decides anyway to go to Westchester to investigate. He arrives on the day of the wedding to find that the kids are indulging in necking contests, Kelly is running tame with fiancée Mystique on his arm soliciting campaign contributions from Xavier's rich Westchester WASP neighbors, Toad is the wedding singer, and Rogue is safely dancing cheek to cheek with Magneto. Logan throws a snit, the email conspiracy is revealed, and Rogue finds herself half crushed, half relieved, by Logan's comparative lack of interest.
(I'm vague about what happens after here for a bit. I'm also thinking a crisis of some kind could pull the characters together, but I don't want this becoming an "action movie", that, after all, is what the movies are for.)
Charles finds out about Magneto & Rogue's conspiracy, and is upset with them. They discuss the plan to instead make mutants "fashionable" and Charles tells them he will consult with his brother (of whom no one knows) about how to do this without further use of the devices. According to the mysterious "brother's" advice Xavier coordinates activities designed to make mutants fashionable: Toad and Louisa get a "reality based" TV show that has them doing guerrilla political theatre while hand-held cameras shoot their doings, further cementing their pop icon status. Kelley marries Mystique and announces he'll run for president Mystique appears with her step daughter in Martha Stewart's Living showing the delights of the garden of Kelley's "official" home in Kansas. Sabertooth persuades his sensei to jointly do a self-help and self defense TV show for PBS with him. The Trekkie Mutant's for Peace organization is founded by Henry, who starts an online campaign of Star Trek fans in all nations to free political prisoners, protest war and send
super-mutant aid to problem areas. Sylvie launches her catalog sale fashion line with the cuter boys and girls from the school as models, including Rogue, who promptly finds herself being courted by the Ford
Agency. She agrees to work for them part time if they will pay her way through FIT, Sylvie's alma mater, once she graduates from Xavier's.
Finally, after graduation, Charles announces that the X Men will be marching along with the Young African American Gay Mutants for Christ and The Trekkie Mutants for Peace in the Freedom Day parade in NYC. They do so, and finally everyone meets Charles twin brother (Sterling from "Jeffrey") the head of the Pink Panthers, the real mastermind of their current success. Magneto feels slightly non-plussed by the newfound mutant popularity, and wonders what he should do, now that his main life battle has been nearly won. Rogue points out to Magneto that another birthday has come and gone, and that she will have a dorm room to herself at FIT, courtesy of the agency, and maybe he should just grow up and start trying to enjoy life....
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